Once upon a time, in a land beyond the beyond in Kansas, there lived a Scarecrow who was very sad because the space between its ears was stuffed with straw. He felt himself unthinking Oft found himself lamenting If I only had a brain With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’ I could be ...

HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE IN THE    Sudden advent of narration.  Listen for a menacing voiceover making cryptic, insinuating suggestions about you or your future.      Aggressive normalcy of environment. Look for signs that everything in your life, marriage, small Midwestern town, or home ...

Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better. Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion. Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket. Find a really tall building in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd. Get an extra ...