I know someone who talked to his house plant for hours after someone told him that doing that would make his plant grow faster. Grow faster because while talking to the plant he would be breathing out CO₂ which plants use to grow.

I have never met anyone who comes anywhere near this guys ability to take the facts, put them through his brain and come up with things that bear no relationship to what he heard or to Reality.

He is a strong argument for reincarnation. Why? Because nobody could become that stupid in just one lifetime.

He now is convinced that the house is haunted.

When he returned home a few days ago he found his plant lying lifeless among the broken shards of its container and the scattered soil the container held.

He says that the plant was solidly on the counter when he finished talking to it and left for one of Marks marvellous lunches. He claims  the only way the plant and container could have ended up smashed on the floor as is if someone had picked it up and threw it to the floor.

Kitchen

He feels that as all the doors and windows were locked when he got home, his house must be haunted and that it was this ghost that smashed the plant.

He cites Sherlock Holmes’s famous quote “Once you eliminate the possible, whatever remains, no matter how impossible is what happened”  as proof his place is haunted. Ghosts are impossible but it is all that remains and so must be true.

Actually the quote is “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” but he knows ‘for sure’ that he has the quote right and that we are wrong.

However…….. there was a scrap of paper found among the soil and pot shards.

In its original size it is tough to read. Blow it up and you find a message……….

What do you think: Ghost or ……… Self inflicted Plantcide?